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It has very little to do with them and everything to do with him.
My ex-husband is not someone I’d choose to have in my life to any degree if we didn’t have children together.
We got married way too young and way too soon, and the relationship was a complete disaster for both of us.
To ensure my own life keeps running as smoothly as possible, I don’t deal with him, or anyone in his life, more than I absolutely must.
Nobody gets married saying, “Let’s do this for a few years, have some kids, and get a divorce.” Most couples go through hell — often years of it — before finally ending the relationship.
And then we expect them to put all that aside and embrace both the ex and the new partner as friends.
If you’re able to be more than civil co-parents with your ex and consider his girlfriend your new BFF, my hat is off to you.
So, when you feel jealousy or discomfort over your ex dating, remember that no one can really take the same place in your ex’s life that you had. Letting go is a process, and it may take you some time and effort to get there. Why not start not worrying about that now, instead of later?
The trend toward joint custody, reasonable visitation, and more peaceful co-parenting has been an overall positive one for divorced and blended families.
However, current culture tells us that you need to be best friends with your ex — and his new partner — or you’re bitter and selfish, can’t let go, or aren’t putting the children first.
When it comes to co-parenting, civility and respect are the name of the game.
If you’re meeting the new girlfriend, she’s clearly important to your ex and is likely going to be around your children if she’s not already.
Remembering the negative aspects of your marriage can go a long way in helping alleviate any the unpleasant idea of him/her dating again. I’m sure you’ve heard that saying, “The best revenge is living well.” Well, it’s true!
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